This is generally to Aura/
so if you are not okay with that then don't continue.
I should have done what I knew... I SHOULD HAVE TOLD HER! I blame myself for what I believe will hurt them, I hurt myself by not telling them the truth. You know what, I'll do it now. Right here while I'm depression. Aura. I lied. It isn't okay you gave up your chance to make my life worth living, giving me hope in the world we live in. I know you will say “oh I'm so sorry” blah blah but honestly... I hate this, let me explain why. First of all, just think of it in my eyes “she is staying with her pets who she may have good times with but might not live long, she could have came to me and made my life worth it, my life that may go on past fifty years. I thought she loved me... she could have made a difference and left her pets but NO fuck that.” you see? Do you see yet? I'm less then pets to you Aura... what do I mean to you then!? I thought you loved me. I see that's a lie... second is every time I'm alone it comes up “worthless brat” “retard” “you are not worth anybody's time! You see Aura already proved it!” “pathetic baby” that's all I hear. Every night. All the time. I know you have been through worse but this is hell to me since I am not you. I know I'm going on a rant here but it hurts me to know you would stab me so many times! I gave you all you could ask for! Love, care, forgiveness. So on. Yet... you went on to do the things you know makes me mad or upset. You may think its funny but it isn't for me. Good news by the way, I am not going to the doctors. In fact. The knowledge of this and other things has made it to where... almost all of them are gone. The only ones I see is Jabon, Oliver and that other guy. Please just... try to stop if you really care. When you get the time talk to me and maybe I will tell you what I feel. This is just some vent cause it's morning over here and I get depressed in the morning.